It was going to be a baby boy. I was convinced. So once the shock wore off that I was actually going to be a mama to a baby girl, I spent a lot of time imagining what she would be like. I remember thinking, “She’ll probably be just like me. I’ll have a little mini me.”

But then she arrives…And she arrives with a bang. Spirited. A social butterfly. Hates to be alone. Favorite color is pink. Extroverted. Peppy in the morning. Incredibly expressive. Loves the outdoors but doesn’t love getting getting dirty. Particular. Talkative. An extra side of sass. Brainy. Favorite movie is about robots. Queen of the side eye. Asks to wear “princess dresses” on the daily. 

In case you were wondering, I’m basically none of those things.  Of course we share similarities, but she is 100% her own little human.

I can steer her and guide her but I never want to break her. I’ve fallen hard and fast for her vibrant spirit and the way she stretches me beyond myself constantly. One of my very favorite aspects of mothering this sparkly two year old is discovering a new side to her that I didn’t expect. 

I’ve decided I kind of love opposites. She has me perpetually surprised and in awe.

We have to parent the child we have. Not the child we thought we would have. That’s something we all know to be true, but putting it into practice is a little more challenging.

I have to let her fly and stumble and fall and LEARN. 

But mostly? Just let her be.

I have so much to learn from her. So much to learn about her. And I’m exceedingly grateful that she isn’t “just like me.” 

“I am your parent you are my child
I am your quiet place, you are my wild
I am your calm face, you are my giggle
I am your wait, you are my wiggle…”

-Maryann K Cusimano